The Best Ways Solo Female Travelers Practice Self Care

Picture this. You’re paddling down Xochimilco. You have waited months to be in Mexico City. You look around at the tranquil river, the human-made islands, at the new friends you’re here with, and you feel...nothing.

Where is that elation?

That excitement?

That rush of adventure?

You’re finally here. Why aren’t you happy?

Or maybe you land in Ho Chi Minh City and wave down a cab. The driver asks for a certain amount of money. You give it to him, and as he keeps driving. He made random stops along the way, gives people money, and then turns to you and says your fair is now going to be a tiny bit more. He is scamming you, but you can’t get out. Your pulse quickens and feel the joy of being here quickly evaporate.

Last one. Hypothetically, you are in Italy and heartbroken. You just left your long-term boyfriend, and your relationship hangs by a thread. You didn’t intend to Eat, Pray, Love your way around the country. Oh, and you are in Florence for a wedding. Have fun.

As much as we love fantasizing about the adventures and the whimsical nature of travel, our hearts sometimes are carrying as much baggage as we are. Although I try my hardest to be excited, I don’t know what kind of emotional state I’ll be in when I arrive or what curveballs the universe has in store for me ( oh, plenty. That’s guaranteed).

I have found that it can be harder to get out of negative ruts, especially when I’m far from home. Nothing around me is familiar, and I miss the softness of my bed covered in my corgi’s hair. I’m typically in another time zone and might not have anyone to vent to for another eight hours. This is where I lean on my self care activities.

Self care is practicing certain rituals that preserve or improve one’s own health, mentally and physically. Self care is about being active in protecting your well-being and mental sanity, especially during times of stress ( aka when traveling).

Why should I Practice Self Care While Traveling?

It also seems harder for womxn to practice self-care because we are socialized to be selfless for others. Womxn are the emotional Atlas’s of everyone around us- our parents, siblings, friends, teammates, coworkers, bosses, partners, children, and pet gerbils. We are encouraged to be strong for others and not so much ourselves.

Which is why I believe that travel is a form of self-care for womxn. It is an opportunity to silence the world around you and connect with yourself on a deeper level. You don’t have to be influenced by someone else’s itinerary, compromise your wishes, or get increasingly hangrier as your travel companion TAKES FOR GOD DAMN EVER to get ready. You are able to flex your own independence, prioritize what you want to do, and hear your own thoughts.

However, traveling solo is exhausting, especially for womxn who are traveling alone. The consequences of traveling alone means you have to do everything alone. Even the most OCD of womxn with beautifully organized travel Pinterest boards will eventually get a little burned out.

So I have written out a cheat sheet for self care as you take on the world solo. It is a self care list on how to rework your feelings, start feeling better, and STILL have a blast. You don’t have to let whatever hiccup has happened define your whole experience. That is why self care is important.

My number one tip?

Ground yourself in gratitude.

Whenever I am like, “Man, this is exhausting/frustrating/ frightening,” I remind myself that I’m lucky to be heartbroken in Vietnam, get food poisoning in India, or miss my flight in Dublin. I’m alive. I’m living a full life and am fortunate to have misteps all over the world instead of just my home. Although it is relatively easy to travel today, the ability for us to travel is historically rare. Many of our grandmothers WISHED they could do what we can now with the swipe of a computer screen.

So for me, any boring day abroad is more exciting than a great day at home. I ground myself in gratitude for wherever I am and recognize that few have the privilege to cry on a train platform in Spain.

Take a moment and focus on something in nature or something beautiful around you ( unless you are in a manhole in downtown Los Angeles with something very cold and very wet dripping on you. So in that situation, use your imagination).

Watch the clouds mindfully pass over you, spot a leaf dangling on a tree, or pause to admire the architecture of the buildings around you. All feelings and events are temporary ( except the hiccups- those never fucking stop). When unfortunate events happen or negative emotions latch onto you like a wet leaf, remember that they, like everything else, will pass. Just like the weather, your feelings are a constant rotation, each one passing over you. But they eventually all pass. Center yourself and be present.

Then do whatever the fuck you need to do to feel better.

The Best Self Care Tips for Solo Female Travelers

Here’s some suggestions for pressing the reset button on your wellbeing:

Get a fancy ass cocktail with an umbrella in it.

Give yourself a treat and savor it. Candy, chocolate, ice cream, pie, cake, deep fried dumplings- go for it, but don’t over do it!
Take a nap.
Sniff some aromatherapy.
Find a yoga or exercise class or workout on a YouTube channel.
Drink tea.
Get a massage or go to the spa. Put on some cucumber peels and forget the day.
Get a mani-pedi with extra sparkles.
Take a shower and snag all the tiny shampoos (nothing like a good klepto moment to make you feel better and in control).
CBD. Who the fuck cares. Chill out please.

Netflix binge.

Listen to your favorite podcast.
Take a walk ( but be sure to download offline maps!).
Walk while listening to your favorite podcast.
Do a 10 minute mindful meditation and center your breath.
- Recite: I don’t know when I’ll be here again. I know I’ll regret it if I don’t do whatever I had planned.
- Recite mantras. “ This is a temporary feeling. It will pass.”
Countdown. Only “4 more hours, 3 more hours…” and break that time up into manageable chunks.
Journal all your feelings. It’s better on paper.
Pump yourself up with music or wallow in it ( but not forever).
Book your own room and take your bra off.
Cry it out - I’m hugging you from here.
Time yourself- give yourself 20 minutes to be upset and then find your way to move on.
Carry a worry stone or crystal. Rub it to the core.

Change your scenery. Get on a metro and get off at a random spot ( in a safe area).

Retail therapy. (Aka shopping.)
Get a nice coffee. Take a pic of said coffee. Be that person.
Be nice to a stranger.
Go dancing. Shake your feelings of Taylor Swift style.
Plan activities that you look forward to doing.
Call someone who understands your anxiety.
Ground yourself in your why and base all your actions around why you are there. Are you there to be sad/mad/frustrated? No. Why are you where you are? Go do it.
Remind yourself you’re on vacation. - be HAPPY god damn it!

As solo female travelers, we are more than able to practice self care and still make the most out of our solo adventures.

Do you have any other self care tips for solo female travelers? What do you do to get out of a rut and make sure you are prioritizing your mental well-being?

If you are interested in more advice then stay tuned for my upcoming book on How to Be a Solo Female Traveler!